How to Break a Bad Spell
In life, we often find ourselves stuck in a cycle of negativity. I started thinking about how that negativity translates to negative energy, almost like being under a bad spell. So if you’re energy is negative, how can you break that cycle? Is there a way to break the bad spell you’re under? I believe there is, and in order to break the bad spells, we must first identify what the spell is, and then think about possible solutions. There are many spells that someone can be under, so I will discuss a three of the most common ones with possible solutions.
I. Fault- It’s All Mine or All Yours- Accepting or Assigning all Blame
Do you constantly blame yourself for everything that has gone wrong in your life? Then you are suffering from being under a “fault” spell.
Do you constantly blame everyone else for everything that has gone wrong in your life? Then you are spell casting and assigning blame to others.
Can we change either of these destructive patterns?
YES! If you blame yourself for anything and everything, ask yourself, why? Remember life is not black and white. There is a huge gray area that accounts for the multitude of reasons explaining why things go wrong. Accepting responsibility is one thing, but the bigger challenge is learning how to change your reality. If you don’t like how something is going in your life, try to think of what caused the problem and possible solutions. For example, if you’ve gained weight, research the foods you’ve been eating, and cut back on the ones that you find out have been causing you to gain weight.
If you constantly blame others for anything and everything, try to ask yourself why you can’t take personal responsibility. Don’t be afraid to keep an open mind and ask yourself: am I the unreasonable one? If you are completely unwilling to believe that you have any part to do with what has transpired in your life, then you are living with blinders on. It is very rare that anything is ever all someone else’s fault or all your own. Remember gray area is everything, and understanding all sides of a problem is crucial to solving it. Once you have evaluated all sides of an issue, work towards solving it. Back to the weight gain example, if you constantly blame your friends or family for your diet, next time you eat with them tell them you don’t want to eat whatever it is that is unhealthy. Bring your own food or offer a recipe as an alternative. Take responsibility and control over the thing that is going wrong. In doing so, you will stop assigning blame to everyone else.
I. My Way or the Highway- You’re a Control Freak
Do you always want things your way? Do you get upset if you don’t get your way? If you have this problem then you are under the “my way or the highway spell.”
Can we change our destructive behavior?
Of course you can, but first you need to accept that you are trying to control everything in your life, to the point where you won’t let others affect how or why you do things. Once you can accept that you are controlling, you can begin to let go of control. Try letting friends and family plan trips, help you with your work or kids, or even just plan a meal! Allow colleagues or employees to take a load of stress off you by delegating some work and responsibilities to them. Letting go will give you a new sense of freedom! You don’t have to do everything! And things don’t have to be perfect!
III. It’s Never Enough-Nothing is Ever Good Enough
Do you wake up feeling that you want more- more money, more popularity, more love, or more things?
How can less become more?
If you have a roof over your head, food on the table, and a place to live, then you have a lot more than you think you do. You don’t need a lot of money or things to be happy. All you really need to be happy is to be happy with yourself, the choices you’ve made, and the person you’ve become. Being unhappy with yourself is most likely causing you to believe you need more to be happy. You need to ask yourself this hard question: why am I unhappy with myself? If you are willing to challenge yourself to explore the answers to that question, you can begin to change whatever is making you unhappy with yourself, and be grateful for what you have and who you are. For instance, maybe there are people in your life who are unhappy with you, or you have a job that you hate, leading you to be unhappy with yourself. If that’s the case, try reaching out to friends or family close to that person who is unhappy with you, or who wants to listen to your grievances about your horrible job. Those people that you are close with may offer love or guidance. Maybe you won’t be able to mend the broken relationship or improve your job situation, but you will form a stronger bond with those already close to you, and you can begin to love and forgive yourself. If you can become happy with yourself, then you won’t be under the “needing more” spell for long.
We all have that negative voice in our heads from time to time. There could be a lot of reasons that voice ticks, but you can change your negative voice to a positive one by addressing the roots of the problems. Don’t be afraid to look deep inside yourself for answers. You know yourself better than anyone. Remember to love and forgive yourself first, and keep your mind open to breaking those spells with solutions that include accepting yourself and others!